LandfallVoyages

As you may know, I enjoy frequenting cafes. I’ve grown acquainted with a retired man who also visits the cafe who lives across the street from the one that I go to most often. He has three topics of conversation. Ten percent is current news. Another ten percent is bad jokes. The other eighty percent is his sexual prowess, past conquests, and skills. The eighty percent bores me but you can’t chose who else shows up at a cafe.

As you probably also know there are, every Wednesday and Saturday when the cruise ships arrive, many Indians, mostly Oaxacan, who crowd the streets selling handcrafted goods, Chicklets, cornrow braids, and begging. They specialize in looking unfortunate.

After a few weeks one becomes weary of their approaches. While I have some sympathy for their condition I doubt that starting out as the 1001st person selling wooden slingshots and hand weaved bracelets with your name on them is a very promising business plan. Most of us that have here in Ensenada for awhile have become jaded. Last week Gina, an Ensenada native that I’ve become friends with was approached by a lady selling the same old stuff as we were talking. She said to the lady in Spanish “Three hundred years and you’re still selling the same old shit. Have you no imagination?” While I don’t approve, I understand.

Back to Mr Self Styled Cassanova. Today we had quite a few of the little ladies try to sell us things that we don’t want or need.

After several, Cassanova started asking them, in English, “What time do you get off?” or, “Do you wanna come up to my place tonight?” They would just smile slightly and nod their heads the way we all do when we have absolutely no idea what somebody is saying.

It was funny. Cruel, yes, but funny. Some Texans walking by heard one of these exchanges and got quite a big (Texas sized) laugh out of it. The last time he did it Cassanova bit off more than he could chew.

Another un-sexy little Indian lady stopped to show off her wares. Cassanova started up again, “Hey, you & me tonight, baby, for some hot nakedness!”

Her jaw dropped and she said “You son of a bitch! You theen I doan speak any English? You wrong! You should be ashame of you self, asshole!”.

Then his jaw dropped.